Today has been stellar so far!
 I went on the date, although I was really thinking about running away the whole trip there. But this is what resulted in me going to breakfast. There is a scene from this last season on the biggest loser which Ashley turns to her mom and says, "What if I get in there and I can't do it?" and her mom answers, "but what if you get in there and you can?" That is my new theory on life, fear will not control me! I am not going to avoid something that could be disasterous because I am afraid of that, because it could be a really good time. I could meet the man of my dreams, I could change my life, I could find a whole source of power and possiblity that I would never even known I had missed! I am tired of letting fear control me, fear of being skinny, fear of being fat, of being rejected, denied, unwanted, not good enough. I will no longer give up, avoid, or not do things just because I am scared, no one should live like that!!


My morning started out super early for me, 7 AM, I do not know how you moms and people with gown up jobs do this, the birds aren't even up at 7, I swear. So I did the standard ritual of going upstairs, getting naked,, and pow! The scale gods loved me - 209!! Thanks, band, and the wonderful run I had yesterday! I am 10 pounds from wonderland, andI know with my competitive mind and that summer meltdown challenge I will be saying au revior to the 200's and never looking back!!! I cannot wait, I have never been this weight and I definitely never have been under 200 lbs, its a dream of mine that I have had for a really long time and I can see it right around the corner - wow!!




Ok, Ok, I know you all are like enough already how did the date go??
So I got there early, drove by and then decided I had to be a little late, you know you make the guy wait a bit. But as I drive by I saw this guy get out and I thought, if thats him, this is good. Guess what, it was! I get there 10 mins late, he has already got his breakfast, he says, he thought I stood him up :S. I paid for my danish and tea, its whatever, I don't mind paying for my own stuff, it makes things more low key, I mean we met for breakfast. And we sit down, he is so hot!!! He is 6'0, so just barely, but taller than me. He has this cute french I guess accent, he has dark brown hair, dark complected, and golden brown eyes, He's wider with nice arms - I seriously cannot ask for anything more. He is so nice and charming. He talked about his work, school, how he got to the states, and I loved it, it takes me awhile to warm up to people so I'm glad he talked so it wasn't awkward! I just wanted to listen and stare at his beautiful eyes and full lips - oh lord I sound like a harlequine romance novel! But he's seriously so interesting. He was a month from getting a law degree in Morocco and left because his US visa was going to expire, and when he went back on vacation a few years ago they said he would have to redo his whole degree, 2.5 years down the drain. He speaks fluent French, and his English is very good, and he speaks Arabic. I think languages are so sexy, so the more you can speak the better!! He told me he lived in Paris for ten years. He's funny, stylish, and interesting! He did comment that he talked so much and that I didn't say to much, I know it takes me awhile to warm up to new people, so I hope he doesn't get too harsh on me for that. We ended the uh, I don't know what to call it, and he said we should do it again, and that he would text me. No hug, no kiss, I wanted to at least give him a nice hug(it was 11 AM) but I also didn't want to push things.

So this afternoon he was on messenger and we eventually decided to hang out Sunday afternoon, so there ya go, date number two is planned! I am interested to see what will happen.

XOXO to all my lovlies