My fill, my goals, my perfectionism

Yesterday was a fill day and therefore an official weigh in day. I (as I always do) woke up sipped a little bit of water went to the gym, tried to sweat as much as I could before my appointment, then showered and went to the Appointment. Official weight: 242. So I did not make my goal by two pounds, but that's still 10 lbs in 6 weeks so that is something to be proud of. I'm still cursing finals weeks and all the emotional eating I embrace as if its natural and somehow OK to do because its finals! I really need to work on that especially with the new year coming and my super exciting new goals, which I will tell y'all about later (I thinks its wrong to talk about New Year's resolutions until after Christmas - its kind of like the Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving, strange rules but I stick buy them hopefully they allow me to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about tomorrow).

So here's my philosophical note today: I worked VERY hard for the 10 lb weight loss yet I am kind of mad at myself for not hitting my goal. What is wrong with me, I should be so happy with the 10 lbs and move on and try to do better next time right? WRONG! Oh no I am a perfectionist, I have to have perfect grades, look perfect, complete all my plans perfectly or I get totally bummed. I know I am way too hard on myself sometimes, but I also want to push myself and if there are no repercussions for not obtaining my goals then what, then can I just not even try? There is a small balance between wanting to work hard and meet my goals and beating myself up over 2 lbs, I wish I could say that I can revel in the 10 lbs, but in the back of my head will be thinking about how it was 2 lbs from my goal. When it comes to everyone else I would say revel in your accomplishments because you know eventually that 2 lbs and more will be coming off, you have your whole life to lose this weight and with the band you at least have the hope and the affirmation that IT WILL!