Be who you are and say what you feel because those that care do not matter and those that matter do not care 
Dr. Suess

my ticker

my ticker

Hi All you beautiful bloggers out there!!!

Number one I would like to say that I have been keeping up with you- I am reading and I loove it (and greatly missed it) but as I have said I dont have cable and my work internet wont let me post comments :( its very sad for me.

My week has been good ... super super busy with work, I am working around 60 hours a week - it totally sucks and I am exhausted by wednesday buut I have bills to pay and well being at work keeps me from being somewhere else spending money so I do what I have to until someday my prince charming (with millions) comes around and saves the day ha ha!! But any-hoo I have had a pretty good week eating wise. I have been bringing in salads for dinner at work and good snacks and I have been very diligent about just eating those for my belly and my budgets sake ;)

I have found that once I do one good thing its like I am building a foundation and then each additional good decision ( a good work out. a choice to NOT get that chick-fil-a shke - if you havent noticed I am CRAVING that so so so bad ) its like another brick and then when I get the idea in my head and that little whisper that says ice cream starts to linger I feel motivated and impowered by giving it a karate chop and saying -NO!! Then once I give in to one whisper I just lose it, but the feeling of control and power that I feel when I can control myself and make good decisions faaar surpasses the "high" I get from and oreo blizzard. I know I just have to hold on to that momentum ... once I do it feel so great I love myself and I feel invigorated and like I can do this, one good choice builds two more and saying no gets easier, sugar cravings get less and less. I love that feeling!!!!

Now there is one little glitch ... when I do bust my ass and say no and make good decisions ... and gain 5 POUNDS!!!! yep peeps that is what happened this week got on the scale and that retched little hoochie showed 198!!!!!! And I ran for some ice cream . Hello period hello bloat - go to hell. Well that just made me mad I felt so good I was sure I was gonna see good numbers and then that *&#%$!!!!!!!! I need feedback I need to know that my hard work it showing results and when it doesnt well it makes that invigorating feeling slowly dissolve.

Well so I had about a two day time of just reckless eating ... I love me some sugar it was redic. But I got my stuff back together and ate really good on Friday, Saturday was a decent day ( except for the most devine german chocolate shake from Haagen Daas OMG extasy). Today I went to the gym did a little cardio before my session with my trainer and my weigh in ... scale says 193.8 so looks like the bloat is gone. I didnt lose anything this week buut right now Im just happy that my weight is back down from 198 that my friends was about to turn me into a crazy person!!

This week Im still being a busy worker bee until Thursday then its vacation time!!!!!!!! I am so ready for the beach and sun and well yummy deserts and pina coladas. But my vacation 'maintenance plan' will be in a later post this week.

Until then I am signing off

Ready to Rock it

193 ... that was a cute little joke, I got home after what I would say was a VERY good eating day, got on the scale with the intention of taking a picture for the challenge and I saw 196.4 !!!!!!! Needless to say not a good sight, I mean I know that weight fluctuates, but by 3lbs, that is not typical for me and not after a good eating day, having not consumed anything (although I did drink alot of water that night). Well unfortunately that was my kicker, that and my inability to get my computer charged so I could run to find wi-fi and sign up for the challenge. Well things of course didnt work out so well... my computer was beyond dead and I think my charger croaked sooo I couldnt get it set up. Well for some reason that frustration made it acceptible to go into the fridge and grab my emergency butterscotch brownies all 3 half cupcake size ones!!!!!!

Well I went to sleep with the brownie crumbs over my face (as well as shame,) woke up and the scale said 194 - meh not great, not terrible, not 193!!!! Well yesterday was an OK day I woke up did a hard core workout - 150 cals on the runner elliptical thing (great for running but better on my knees) ((11 mins)) 150 cals on the stairmaster (10mins), 150 cals on this side stepper (12mins) and then I did 15 mins of elliptical for 200 cals. I was very sweaty very rock star work out girl mode. Umm and food not too terribly bad, but I will say it was the 4th and the strawberry pie did get the best of me (and the quac and chips and the moosetracks icecream) but in my defence I got my monthly visit so as far as Im concerned when I start I DESERVE a double scoop moosetracks ... period!!!!! Plus maybe that has something to do with why the scale was up a little when I was suuure it was gonna be lower (thats my story and im stickin to you)

Im not looking at the scale until next Sunday, I dont like this not knowing, but I even more dont like that I have terrible cravings after work and if the scale doesnt reflect my hard work I think that gives me a right to throw a tantrum and v-line it towards UDF for some icecream lovin'. Therefore I dont know, Im gonna just pretend that I am having an amazing week and wake up everyday like I just saw 185 or something and use that momentum to make good consious eating decisions and work out like an all-star!!!!!! I am working allll day long all week - literally all day, the latest I come in is 9:00 AM and I leave at 11PM !!!!!!! I am NOT bringing in my card oh hheeeeeeelll no, cause I know with these hours my confert whisper will be talkin banana pudding shake nonesence and Im just not havin it - I don't need it and I can and WILL prove that I am stronger than a whisper. I woke up at 5:30 AM went to the gym did my 45 mins of elliptical and dashed to work today (so proud) - the goal is to continue and do it all week. I know if I can just eat the healthy stuff I pack and go to my early morning workouts I am just sure I can see the 180s before vacation if not by Sunday!!!!!!

Ok so there is my pep talk, I hope everyone is having a good beginning of the week and is ready to rock it :)


Hi everyone, just thought I would check in :)

So I do keep up and read your blogs ... I have become one of those silent voyeuristic creepers ;) ... The reason I do not blog too often is that I don't have internet at home right now. I was stealing internet from my neighbors, but I live on campus and they left for summer so now I am totally disconnected from the world until I get to work, and we are typically super busy so I don’t get alot of downtime to post. Buuut the good thing about blogs are I can read them in about two minutes usually so in between calls I can get in one blog when we're slow so that’s what I do.

So what new with me ......

Well I am having a good week weight loss wise. I lost 4 count them 4 pounds this week!!! yes em I saw 193 something this morning - haven’t been in the lower 190's since ahh December. So that is good, a little aggravating that it has taken me this long to get my act together but its coming along and I’m ready to ride out this good spree. Because I rode out that plateau for 4 months and the evil dark period( the gain) for four more months, so I think I deserve a little stellar weight loss period of four months too right (we'll see if that happens). Some things I have changed - I upped the cardio to 45 mins and I want to do it daily, but unfortunately it usually only happens about 3 -4 times a week, but I thinks that’s still pretty good right!! I am trying ohh so hard to make good decisions, aaaand another big thing is right now I am broke as a joke (aka I don’t even have internet!!!) so I have been looking at my spending and for a girl with a tiny stomach I have been spending an INSANE amount on food, and what is worse its all JUNK and I know it - when I am buying fast food or restaurants its more than like 85% of the time solid waste!! So that is another thing I keep in mind I am packing my food for work and I allow ZERO cash aka no vending machines and now I am even putting my cards in the freezer (AKA freezing my assets) and not bringing the card to work - if I don’t have the money than the option to go over to the Chick-Fil-A and get a banana pudding shake (which by the way don't even try it is pure crack once you get it you are a gonner) is not there and I save myself 5 dollars, alot of guilt, and 1000's of calories. In the mornings I am the most optimistic, upbeat, I am gonna conquer the world person so I am ridiculously good at packing healthy band friendly waist friendly foods, its that 2:00 whisper that kills me so now that whisper can come but its got Nooo options. Until I am stronger than it this is my best option.

Also my vacation is in 13 days!!!!!!! Yes in less that 2 weeks I will be on a beach in a BIKINI and well that whisper has taken over. Its kind of sad I will be walking around doing chores in my apartment and then just go into my bathroom, pull up my shirt and think ... are you really gonna do this ... are you really gonna wear a BIKINI?!! I want to and I am, buuut I am nervous as hell. Especially since when I told my mother a few months ago that I was working really hard so I could wear a bikini on vacation her response was - "well don’t embarrass the people your going with" :S ohh mothers and I even told her how rude that was and her response is "if your mom can't tell ya who can" I love her but she has not even one nurturing bone in her body!!!! But I bought them yesterday 1 pair of bottoms a bikini halter top and a tankini top and two cover ups - Victoria's Secret (go big or go home I figured) and yea 200.00 + dollars later I better make it count I better wear them and love them and not feel a bit of insecurity. I am gonna be the hottest I have ever been and even if that doesn't make me ready to model those bikinis its gonna have be enough. My stomach is pretty flat that’s not really my main concern its those horrible stretch marks - my cross to bare my , punishment for 22 years of obesity. I’ve been putting on this cream that’s supposed to help and I think its dulling the ones on my stomach but the ones on my side and hips are terrible!!!!!

But any-hoo my life is pretty average I’m still having fun, but I am trying to bring it to a minimum, I’ve given up on the whole male race so that just alleviated an exuberant amount of stress. I’m a work-a-holic (seriously 60 hr work weeks) and well I am really getting into a groove weight loss wise. I really want to do this challenge with ya'll but if I do I better rush to a place with wifi take a picture of me on the scale and book it no?!

Ohhh also I have been missing so I was obviously oblivious to BOOBS :( ... and then when I returned I didn’t think I could budget a trip like that, buuuut I think there is a Pit Bull concert that weekend and a group of my friends want to go. I CANNOT pass up a chance to see Pit Bull and Enrique Iglesias in concert and if that means I could stop by for some BOOBS events well that would be all the better. Now under my budget I just can’t see me doing the hotel I need to stay at some cheap-o place outside the city probably with my friends buut I would love to make an appearance and see all your lovely faces and see how much you have shrank in the last year!!!!!!