Be who you are and say what you feel because those that care do not matter and those that matter do not care 
Dr. Suess

my ticker

my ticker

Yesterday went well, I think, I definately did tear that bag of M&Ms up as soon as I was done blogging. And I will admit for dinner I had pizza, it was a hand tossed veggie variety so I could have done worse, the thing is at 9:00 when I get home I am tired and ravenous and that was the quickest thing I could get my hands on, I guess this is a process and I need to be more prepared on Tuesdays and Thursdays!

I have decided to make a promise. Tomorrow or tonight I will post some photos of me. If you haven't noticed I don't really post pictures. This is for a 2 reasons, 1 I always forget my camera and don't take any pictures of stuff I do, and 2 I really don't like pictures. I am a perfectionist and vain, vain, vain and unless I look like angelica jolie I don't want anyone to see me. I also think that as I'm losing weight, my waist is getting tiny my shoulders are thinner but still super broad and that fat is stuck on my butt and thighs like an ungreased casserole! But I am losing weight, I just don't feel hot, guess that may have something to do with all the twiggys walking around campus making me look like the jolly green giant.

Hey just wondering, sometimes when I first start to eat something ( like two bites in) I get the chills and this is kind of a reoccurring thing, I was just wondering if anyone else has this. I think its funny and weird, I know its from the band, just wondered if it was common.

Big Update, I am taking 28 credit hours this quarter, so I have class literally all day (8 - 7:48 on tuedsays and thursdays) which has made it really hard for me to get a good routine going. I am not a morning person so I am always oversleeping and I can never go to sleep at 11 when I am supposed to so I live on about 6 hours of sleep everyday. I also have to work hard at being diligent about packing lunch, which is hard with the band because sandwiches ( the staple of any standard packed lunch) is not exactly band-friendly in my opinion. So help - if you can think of anything yummy to take for lunch shoot me some ideas because I am really sick of turkey wraps! And to be really honest I sometimes wait til last minute to make my lunch, run out of time and then am stuck with the fast food dilemma.

Food wise last week was a disaster! My little sugar bug infiltrated and I definitely let Shela have the better of me. Shela is my devil that sits in my ear tells me to eat that ice cream and chocolate, ect... and I did, I was weak. I haven't weighed myself for about a week because I am scurred, but I'm pretty sure I will still be at about 242. My excuse is its hard with my schedule and all my homework and working to deal with my diet and exercise. But that stops today.

Today was like most days, I was late, I scarfed down a shake for breakfast - and by the way for those of you who are anti-protein shakes you really should find a good one, if you have a super busy life like I do they come in handy when you're in a bind and need to eat, all you need is some water and almost every building in the word has a drinking fountain, it has saved me many a time when I was one foot out the door for something greasy and naughty.

Well anyway, I was late, I found some clothes and work out clothes - which by the way this is terrible, this is what I need to bring with me on a DAILY basis to have a well prepared day: regular clothes, boots, workout clothes, tennis shoes, body wash and such, a sponge, a towel, hair supplies, a hair dryer, makeup, bobby pins, my books, binders, and all things for school, my HUGE coffee cup that gets me through 11 AM, lunch, and two snacks! All that and I have to cart it around one of the biggest campuses in the US! So I get dressed and pack all my clothes and get a snack and leave - already late. I fight through Columbus traffic and make it only 10 minutes late to my first class. I am surprisingly keeping up with my classes so far ( Well thanks to MLK day), so that was ok. So after my first 2 classes I get a whole wheat wrap from the cafe (it was gross but I made myself eat a 4th of it) then I went and ran.

I am SO FRICKIN PROUD of myself, because today I went from walking 3 min with 1 min running intervals to walking 2 mins with 1 min intervals! This is so exciting for me, and since I did it I now have set a precedent for not 0nly doing that every time I run but achieving my running goals!

Well theres my rant, I'm eating a fruit cup now and debating on saving my M & Ms until later or to gobble them up now... I'll probably rip them open as soon as I am done with this. But I did good yesterday, I went to the movies and the whole time I was thinking about popcorn and those chocolate covered caramel things, I had a mental sit down with myself and explained how I had just ate and I will be fine without them and it worked, I though about them much like an addict thinks about crack, but I made it through and I feel so much better for it!

I'm battling my body

Do you ever feel like you have uncontrollable cravings that will just work at you for hours, this voice that will just gnaw at you until you find something chocolaty delicious and naughty? I have been getting these visits quite frequently lately and honestly its driving me bonkers. I think I will even name this voice Shela.
This is my day, I wake up run around at classes big break, have my very well planned out lunch of spaghetti squash with veggies, start eating and then ... I do not even finish eating when Shela decides she wants to play, you need something yummy and bad, that food you have is good, but don't cha want something better. So I Amuse her with a stroll through the goodies at the coffee shop in the building, M&Ms aren't so bad a choice, so to keep her at bay I pick one up and start eating those, next thing I know I have downed a whole bag in like a minute, and Shela is not satisfied ... So now that I am under Shela's trance I go down stairs to look for more candy at the vending machines and that damn things are broke. I'm FREAKING! I need some damn chocolate Shela won't shut up and I have no way of getting any, which is good but bad Oh Reese's I want you I need you ....

Is this not rediculous, I truly feel like a crack addict and if it wasn't for the fact that its 15 degrees and I hate the cold I would be walking to a store right now to satisfy this craving, I am not hungry and I know it but I what I am is way harder to satisfy. I can overcome alot of things but its this feeling right now that has always been my down fall when it comes to weight loss, I know I need to learn to ride out the cravings, but damn Shela is one strong force.