Be who you are and say what you feel because those that care do not matter and those that matter do not care 
Dr. Suess

my ticker

my ticker


So its my birthday! I must say it started a bit bumpy, I woke up a half hour late, and nature left me the dandy present of my period cramps and all! I'm just getting over being sick again (has anyone felt that they get sick easier now that they have been banded, because I never EVER get sick and its Nevember and I've already had two annoying colds) and I was late for class. But after that it has been pretty calm, I came home and had lots of birthday wishes, which made me feel really good, because of my weight I have a tendency to seclude myself from social functions and to have that many texts and messages on facebook made me realize that I there are people who care about me.

Things that are different from my birthday last year, I'm losing weight and not gaining it, I feel so much more confident in who I am and I know that I have control over me. Today was like a potentially hurricane Katrina day of eating in my old world, but instead of stuffing myself because I was totally hormonal and old and its my birthday so I can and should celebrate I have had those 'hormonal celebration' foods, but probobly a fourth of what I would have last year. More importantly I am not afraid that when I look at the scale tommorrow morning that I will have gained 4 pounds!

That is one thing that has made my life so much better! There has not been one time even when I have a carb-fest day that I get on the scale and have gained a significant amount of weight. I love knowing that yesterday was a bad eating day and that I will have to make up for it and do better today and work out a little harder and I will continue to lose weight, I am no longer stuck in that yo-yo of completely starving and eating no carbs to binging to gaining weight and feeling awful which makes me binge one more day then try to starve myself which finally leads to me feeling powerless and giving up - that part of my life is over! I am free and I am so optimistic. For my birthday I am giving myself a pair of new work pants because my old ones are getting too big, new panties because my butt is finally small enough to fit into victorias secret larges again, and a pair of 15 jeans that are my goal jeans. I want so hard to fit into these jeans by New Years, but even if it isn't until Febuary that I fit into them I know that once I fit into them they will never be too small for me again - that is one of the most liberating feelings ever for me !

Oh and yesterday I tried on my old size 16s and they fit so yea me, they may be old and stretched a bit but a month ago they didn't go around my hips so I am excited!

Hope you all have a fantastic evening and make good choices!!!


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