Thanksgiving: Back at home

So its thanksgiving and as a tradition we go to this bar (my family and friends) that everybody in town goes (I am seriously from the sticks) and I do not know what it is about seeing people fom high school that makes me turn into a scared little person but I do. I feel really good about where I am right now I am on trck, but I'm not good enough yet for homecomings. I need to be at 160lbs and hotter than every girl in the room and having every guy that I went to highschool with drooling and wishing they had paid attention to me when I was a shy chubby girl! Well I'm still a chubby girl and as much as I know it won't be the same a year from now it still bothers me that I feel inferior to these people! Am I ever going to cool enough or hot enough? God I hope so and when I'm 160lbs and a bombshell will I feel different?

Just some thoughts about me my weight and my peers, I hated highschool and I hate feeling like I;m still that girl :S