Be who you are and say what you feel because those that care do not matter and those that matter do not care 
Dr. Suess

my ticker

my ticker

Ok, sorry I have been MIA, life is busy and I want and wish I could make it go away, I just dont want to deal, I want to dig a whole and wait until everything is normal (can someone let me know when that is because life hasn't been normal since .... um ... EVER!!) So guess what, Im just not gonna talk about it ok?

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that I gained 2 lbs this week

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that I ate nothing but junk all weekend long

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that besides from seeing my personal trainer I have done no cardio yet this month

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that my knee is bothering me and now I am afraid its going to be another excuse not to do anything

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that I think I am self sabotaging!

I'm not gonna talk about all the school work I have to do

I'm not going to talk about the fact that I am flat frickin broke and have a million things to pay for

I'm not going to talk about the fact that me and that guy are not working out (on my front)

I'm not going to talk about the fact that I have been mentally downing myself for about a week now

I'm not gonna talk about the depression and anxiety I feel whispering in my ears that I keep telling myself I don't have time to deal with

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that if I don't reach perfection I feel like I failed

I'm not gonna talk about the ice cream I ate today

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that this post is making me feel so exhausted



OK so ya get it, I am in a funk- I want to get out, but I don't know what to do I NEED to work out, I need the endorphines, I need to eat well, I know it will help me but its like I can't get out. Everyday I wake up telling myself, today you will get back on the wagon and by the afternoon I have muffed it all up!! I am mad at myself and I don't know what to do but to pout and continue, because I dont have time to think, let alone figure out what the hell my deal it :S

8 comments:

Angie said...

Aww honey! I'm so so sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed and down. You know what you need to do, which isn't gonna get it done, but it's a hugely important factor. Try not to take such an all or nothing approach - you don't need to be perfect all of a sudden. Spend a day eating real food. Go for a walk. Slowly build your good habits back up.

AND TALK TO ME, ANYTIME. I'm here for you! xox

Monica said...

HELLO!

Ummm get you to VH1 and watch 40 Most Slimmed Down Celebs! Im watching it now and Im pumped!

Drazil said...

Oh sweetie - I'm so sorry. I kinda felt like this today too. Life can't always be full of roses...so learn from these times when you feel down...I think they are God's way of telling us we are missing something and we need to dig deep and listen. This won't last forever - because people with spirits as beautiful as yours don't give up. You're allowed to have a few down days...just take care of you okay?

Carmen said...

hmmm...let's talk about how gorgeous you are then :-)
chin up girlie...cheesy but this to shall pass :-)

Barbara said...

Check out Draz's post on Come Run with Me.. was a big mood changer for me.. good luck

Leah said...

You can do it Beth!! I totally agree with Carmen, let's talk about how gorgeous you are, let's talk about how you are still trying to change your life... it doesn't matter that you fall off the wagon, you still get back on! And Barbara, that post is amazing! You totally need to read that Beth. I was completely down in the dumps this morning... I've gained 3 pounds this week and I've been eating well AND working out 5 days this week for an hour a day! One day was for three hours!! BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! You can get back out there Beth, you can do it!! Inner demons are what stop us!! There's tons of things you can do if you're knee is bothering you, swimming is a great way to work out, but it's so low impact on the body it helps with injuries!! You can do it Beth, I know you can!! :)

Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

you CAN do it! and maybe (just maybe) the issue with the guy is causing your self sabotage and doubt. FOR ME, I get like that. My whole life seems upside down when I am having a problem w/ a man. That's why I prefer to stay single and rely on my own happiness!

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