Be who you are and say what you feel because those that care do not matter and those that matter do not care 
Dr. Suess

my ticker

my ticker

Hi my name it Beth and I used to be an avid blogger!
I feel like crap for dissappearing :( I have recording SEVERAL vlogs as I promised my Onederland vlog, but I can't get it to upload onto blogger! How do I get it on blogger???!!

So whats up with me. Today I weighed myself - 198.0. It is so surreal to type that 1, I in fact accidentally put in the 2 and its even stranger to have to correct it to a 1! I love it tho. The last two weeks have been kind of like always, there were some highs followed by lows, and I continue to struggle with my sugar issues. Maybe that will be my life, I know that sugar is my weakness and its something that I have to watch and I have use strength to not overindulge. For a long time I have felt like I am cursed with the burden of a sugar addiction. Well guess what, that is Bullshit. Everyone struggles everyday with something. Drug addicts its drugs, alcoholics, alcohol, maybe its anger or people pleasing, but the truth is I am no different than any other person in the world and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and realize its my weakness, not my lifes burden. I have to watch it, but the fact that I may enjoy a piece of cheese cake more than the average person is not going to ruin me!!!

I have successfully completed two weeks of couch 2 5K!! I am really proud of myself! Today I will be completing day 1 of week three. I know I shouldn't, but as the weeks continue I get more and more nervous that it will become too hard. I hate that voice, I need to shut it up hard, and what better way than to prove to myself that no matter how sore I am, no matter how bad my knees or heels hurt, that I CAN run for that 30 mins. The truth is sometimes I have to force myself on that treadmill, but once I get on there I rock it. So I guess now it is just a matter of time that the voice will become a whisper and then it will dissappear! (Hopefully sooner than later)

I am reading Naturally Skinny, by Bethenny Frankel. I really am enjoying it so far, the book is more like a frame of mind book than a diet book, which is what I need. Lets face it I know how to eat right, I have known it since I started my dieting obsession over a decade ago. What I obviously need is to change how I think about food. I started that journey to a new frame of mind with food when I got my beloved band. But I always feel that there is still quite a bit of room for improvement so this book is an opportunity to not only reevaluate all the things I have been learning and build on that. The book has ten commandments so to speak of being naturally skinny. I am not through the book, but I think I will discuss each commandment individually as I read them.
Commandment #1: Your Diet is a Bank Account
This basically says that you can and should eat what you want, but you need a balance. So if you have alot of carbs for breakfast, lunch should have more protein. Another thing with this concept is that when you have a 'bad meal' you do not ruin your whole day, instead you just say, I had a very decadent meal, so now I need to balance it with a day or two of very healthy meals. This also means you do not feel guilty about eating ANYTHING, maybe your body needs a few extra carbs, litsten to you body!!! But dont go crazy, be smart, be balanced! This is my goal. Instead of going to work and saying oh well I ate a mousse so I am just going to go crazy, I will be balanced. If I want a mini dessert, then I am not going to have a lemonade, and if I am obviously hungry I will eat something, but something balanced. I am also going to be aware that I will be going to work that day, so maybe I should have a lighter day as the night will more than likely be a little indulgent. So theres this weeks food game plan.

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, I am excited to get an official weigh in! But I know I did not make my 2 pound a week goal (by like 7 pounds right now :S) but I still have lost a significant amount of weight. I am still teetering on whether or not I need an unfil. I am tight. But I do not get sick alot as long as I am careful. But I also feel like I eat too little sometimes and start the sugar cycle because I am too tight. Ooor it could be that I am allowing myself that excuse - I am still not sure. What I do know is that I ABSOLUTELY do NOT need a fill! I am afraid that an unfil will make it even harder for me to lose my last 35 pounds and its already hard as I am getting smaller and smaller, I don't want to make it even more dificult

Well thats all for now, I need to take some pictures and do some update photoes, which I am hoping to do this week, but I am making no promises ha ha

Hope everyone is enjoying their Tuesday!


Bianca J said...

It must feel great to type that "1". I'm really looking forward to getting there.

You're doing great with the couch to 5K. It made a runner out of me, something I never thought was possible. Now that I'm doing longer runs and increasing my speed I don't think about the time or the distance, I just focus on puttng one foot in front of the other. Hubby used to be a long distance runner and suggested that I try that approach and I've found it actually works.

Janelle said...

Awesome job on the weight loss!! I am also doing the c25k.. just did Week 4 Day 1 today. I am always scared of the next week, but find that I am always able to do it!! Keep it up, you may surprise yourself. :)

Bonnie said...

Hi Beth. Just found read about you on the BOOBs blog and realized I'm not following you. I am now! I can't wait for Chicago. I personally wouldn't get an unfill, but I'm no means a pro. Congrats on your weight loss and getting to Onederland.

AmeyinIdaho said...

Hi Beth. I just found you from the BOOB's blog...And I'm following you now too :)

...looking forward to following your blog and getting to know you better.

c-ya in Chicago :)

DiZneDiVa said...

I can't wait to meet you in Chicago! Yippee! *Maria*

SJB said...

I was looking at your pictures thinking there's no way this girl is 200 anything, and I was right. Congratulations! I hope to be that for my birthday in December. I'm doing Couch 2 5K and there are times when I want nothing to do with it, but I just feel so accomplished and strong when I make it all the way through. If I can do it (week 1 my speed was 3.8 and I was huffin' and a puffin') you can do it.

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